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    HA = Vengeance and/or justice has been served appropriately.9. rofl = I am an extraterrestrial who learned to approximate human language by scanning millions of pages of AOL chat logs collected in the early 2000s. roflcopter = I am a police officer working the undercover teen drug-use chatroom circuit. lollerskates/lollercoaster = Sometime between 20 I was a starred internet forum poster, and someone I chatted with regularly — someone a little older, whom I looked up to, someone with lots of x's in his/her username — used this word, and I was overcome by impossible coolness.teehee = I have done something mildly transgressive and I think it's adorable.19. I legitimately laughed, or at least smiled, and I am slightly happier now than I was before you just said that.20. I did not mean to be so formal; I wanted it clear how little I cared.30. Parents, you need to be aware that truly dangerous apps exist and are readily available to your children.And, if you are reading this as a young person or young adult who thinks I am being condescending, tough.Initially your chat name is your entire online personality.When you are new to certain chat rooms people do not know you so just like in real life, first impressions will count.

    hah = Three-quarters of the way toward typing the most tepid indication of appreciation there is, I became too bored to continue.10. lolllllll = I feel beneath my skin surface a brimming hysteria, an existential query both exhausting and frantic: what am I doing here? I am now grown, and quite serious, and typically hyper-articulate.

    haha = I'm acknowledging that you've said something you perceive to be funny, though I don't find it particularly funny myself.2. = I am weary and loathe to laugh, but here, you have forced it upon me; OR: I hate you.3. = I am pleasantly surprised to learn you are capable of modest humor.4. mwahaha = I am very optimistic about my own evil plans, and possibly an actually bad person, and not a great speller. heehee = I have done something mildly transgressive.18. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (etc.) = I am starting to panic that I may never stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol (sent from i Phone) = The above, but with an added element of Autocorrect shame.

    muahaha = I am very optimistic about my own evil plans, and possibly an actually bad person.16. I want this sentence/conversation to be over but lack the wherewithal to end it directly, with purpose; I want to admit to a feeling but lack the conviction; I want to tell you how you've hurt me but want more to pretend I am invincible; I want to laugh, really laugh, but do not remember how; OR, maybe: that was funny, whatever.29.

    ha = I am actually the most furious I have ever been in my entire life.6. heh heh = I am cautiously optimistic about my own evil plans.15.

    hehe = I am a middle-aged, self-proclaimed pickup artist who is pleased to have recently discovered Reddit. hehehe = I just said something intended to be mildly sexual, but now I'm realizing it was maybe not clear that it was mildly sexual, so maybe I'll quickly also type the laughter of a cartoon villain wearing an eye patch??? heh = I have never experienced mirth, nor do I expect to.14. Partway through typing I realized the absurdity, the smallness of that which made me lol, and so I held my finger firm upon the "l" key for a while, and I wondered what would happen if I held it there forever.

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